Addiction Definition according to mentalhealth.net: “Addiction is the repeated involvement with a substance or activity, despite the substantial harm it now causes, because that involvement was (and may continue to be) pleasurable and/or valuable.”
My Experience With Addiction
During my addiction years my life fell apart and I could guarantee that they caused impairment and distress in my life. When I started using alcohol or drugs I couldn’t stop. The addiction has a power of you that you cannot explain and it’s scary, let me tell you. I would use in bigger amounts and over a longer period of time than I expended before starting.
I knew I was addiction because every time I tried to cut down or control my use I was unsuccessful. I would promise myself that I would never use or drink again but after a few days I would start feeling better and relapse. I felt like I was pretty much insane and powerless over my addiction. I lived in this vicious cycle for over 10 years, it wasn’t fun after a while. At the beginning I was having the time of my life but eventually it almost took my life.
When my addiction got worse, for the most part my days were almost entirely spent either trying to find and buy substances, using the substance or recovering from it. I really pitied myself because I would experience intense cravings for drugs and alcohol and I could not resist the temptations. In other words I had a very strong desire to use and if someone got in my way it wasn’t good news.
The addiction began to take over my life and my major roles and responsibilities. First I lost my job because of addiction. I stopped showing up at work because my addiction was more important. I wasn’t able to complete my tasks at work and they were never on time. I ended up getting fired because of my substance abuse and I continued to go downhill from there. I also stopped going to class because I was too busy getting high or drunk. I lost interest in school and studying and I was forced to drop out of school.
It didn’t end there. The next part of my life that wasn’t working out was my interpersonal relationships. Over the years I lost a lot of friends and ended a lot of relationships due to my addiction. The only relationship I had was with my substances, I didn’t have time for anything or anyone else. I lost my girlfriend because she just couldn’t put up with my addiction anymore. I would try to hide it but over time I got caught. I also stopped speaking to my friends and didn’t want to leave my house to go meet with anyone. I was ashamed of who I became.
I was an athlete, I loved playing sports. I was used to playing basketball, hockey and soccer every day of the week. But I just couldn’t play in that state of mind. I had no more stamina to play and lost my physical strength. I was too paranoid and anxious to be around people. I didn’t want to participate in activities that I really enjoyed doing like going to a movie with a friend or go out to a nice restaurant.
There is Hope to Break Your Addiction and Live Happy in Sobriety
Over a year ago I broke the vicious cycle of addiction and became sober and stayed sober. Today, my relationships are better than they have ever been and I rarely think about drugs or alcohol. When I do think about it I quickly dismiss it because I know it’s not worth it for me. The only thing my addiction ever did for me was put me in a whole and bring me many steps back until I hit rock bottom. I almost died on a few occasions due to my substance abuse and because of that I learned to enjoy every waking minute of the day.
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